Book Notes Pages 1 to 45
After a bit of arguing about whether to do the book as a diary or not, we decided to divide it into three terms. I used examples of lessons that I had taught to illustrate the points I wanted to make.
Page 3 I call my school St Thickchilds in the blog but Dan the editor is a more sensitive soul than I am and he preferred St. Judes (In Christianity, St. Jude was the Patron Saint of Hopeless Cases) Looking back; I'm not sure whether it refers to the kids or me.
Page 4 I'm steadily building up a collection of stories far more shocking than anything in my book, emailed in by teachers via my blog. It does annoy me that the public is so blissfully unaware of what goes on in our Comprehensive Schools.
Page 5 I was probably the only person in the UK who didn't want John Prescott sacked for secretarial blunders, as we had already finalised the rear cover design
Page 9 If anyone can get official figures for the number of teachers off with stress I would be delighted to hear them.
Page 10 The amount of colouring in and 'Poster Work' that goes on in Secondary schools is an absolute disgrace. I reckon that I was probably responsible for the creation of over 20 000 posters during my career. During this same time I imparted about a dozen useful facts. I once covered Spanish for three weeks despite not speaking a single word of the language.
Page 11 At what stage did parents start coming into schools to complain? I can't quite imagine mine doing it, but nowadays every 15 year old boy will threaten to get his dad on you or increasingly in this age of equality, his mummy. It is quite surreal to be told by a burly 16 year old boy that he will 'get his mother to sort you out'
Also; when did pupils start swearing at teachers and getting away with it?
Page 13 Why on Earth do Senior Members of Staff grovel so much to the naughty kids? They invariably add 'Please' to the end of every command, thus sounding like they are begging and lose all respect. Whatever happened to just telling them what to do and making sure it's done?
Page 14 Spencer's lack of short term memory is not unusual. My pet theory is that because nothing is rote learnt any more, many kids simply don't develop a good memory because they never have to.
page 15 Mr. Phillips is a good example of someone who has been promoted steadily because he has never put a foot wrong. The fact that he has never achieved anything either, does not matter.
Page 15 We spend so much time dealing with the badly behaved little brats, whilst ignoring the good quiet hard working kids so that they become disillusioned.
Page 16 When did 'Writing a letter to say that you are sorry' become a punishment?
Page 16 Expelling the naughty kids is pretty much a thing of the past. Nowadays it's called 'excluding' (can anyone tell me why?) and generally means for a couple of days so that the toe rag can have a nice little break or come back onto the school premises to cause mayhem if they so wish.
Page 16 The 'Leaders' of many schools make it as hard as possible for any teacher who wishes to punish a pupil. Therefore the child apologises profusely and simply commits the same crime the next day.
Page 17 It's an interesting point that teaching must be one of the few professions where, if you are off sick, you are still supposed to set work for your classes rather than just getting on with being ill. (Not everybody does though- and if they don't then the Head of Department has to find some work for them)
Page 18 Three things never ceased to amaze me about textbooks:
1) The terrible state of them)
2) That there were never ever enough to go round
3) That the kids couldn't take them home.
Textbooks are now masterpieces of reverse discrimination. It is absolutely forbidden to show white boys in a positive light under any circumstances. The obvious idea of charging the kids parents a deposit for each textbook and perhaps encouraging them to treat it with some respect was laughed out of court when I suggested it in my first year of work.
Page19 to 23 A lesson that drove me to the very edge of despair and illustrates just how far we have fallen in Primary Schools with the teaching of how to follow basic instructions.
Page 24 to 27 Not one of these things was taught to me on teacher training. More about this one year course/ farce later
Page 28 Most lessons with Bottom Set Year 11 are a complete and utter waste of time for both teacher and kids.
Page 30 There are few things more hilarious in teaching than some ex pupil turning up on some form of stolen transport to say 'hello'.
Page 30 One of the worst things is to see a good kid dragged down by the crap ones. It happens all the time.
Page 32 The amount of litter in and around schools is a disgrace. Many teachers and Heads are afraid to do anything about it.
Page 33 God knows why any parent is allowed on the school premises without an appointment.
Page 35 Female teachers seem to be getting fatter and fatter. Sooner or later one of them will explode or fall on a kid and squash them.
Page 35 For some reason most of the IT equipment in schools never seems to work. Most of it is only there to provide amusement for the kids. Meanwhile they share the textbooks
Page 36 Just about every interesting Chemistry practical is now forbidden on 'Health and Safety ' grounds.
Page 36 Passing kids up the chain of command when they laugh at the idea of being punished by you and then seeing them passed back down again with a 'stern warning' is one of the most infuriating parts of teaching
Page 38 Primary school used to be about teaching the basic skills kids needed for Secondary School. How to sit still and listen, how to keep silent, how to read, write and do your tables. None of these appear to be taught anymore.
Page 39 This idea of rushing over to a pupil as soon as they put their hand up, was constantly ingrained on us in PGCE. I can remember pointing out that I wasn't a domestic servant and shouldn't we try and encourage them to persevere with solving a problem. I soon regretted opening my mouth.
Page 41 The madness of Inclusion is slowly starting to change from being a taboo subject to becoming an issue. There will be a U turn soon I reckon.
My own view is that we should have special schools for those with major learning difficulties and Borstals for those with major behavioural difficulties (new term meaning 'very naughty')
Page 42 There are tens of thousands of 'Jennys' in the UK and they are all stuffed. They have absolutely no chance of escaping the hell holes where they were born. Only an education system that selects early by ability can give them a chance and there's not much hope of that arriving any day soon.
Page 44 Lots of kids who really need it, don't get any extra help simply because their parents can't be bothered to go along with the 'statementing process'
Page 45 Feral packs of children roam the school freely looking for trouble. Some are ex pupils who sadly still hang round the school (ghosts) and others are just playing truant or skipping lessons (waifs)
Page 3 I call my school St Thickchilds in the blog but Dan the editor is a more sensitive soul than I am and he preferred St. Judes (In Christianity, St. Jude was the Patron Saint of Hopeless Cases) Looking back; I'm not sure whether it refers to the kids or me.
Page 4 I'm steadily building up a collection of stories far more shocking than anything in my book, emailed in by teachers via my blog. It does annoy me that the public is so blissfully unaware of what goes on in our Comprehensive Schools.
Page 5 I was probably the only person in the UK who didn't want John Prescott sacked for secretarial blunders, as we had already finalised the rear cover design
Page 9 If anyone can get official figures for the number of teachers off with stress I would be delighted to hear them.
Page 10 The amount of colouring in and 'Poster Work' that goes on in Secondary schools is an absolute disgrace. I reckon that I was probably responsible for the creation of over 20 000 posters during my career. During this same time I imparted about a dozen useful facts. I once covered Spanish for three weeks despite not speaking a single word of the language.
Page 11 At what stage did parents start coming into schools to complain? I can't quite imagine mine doing it, but nowadays every 15 year old boy will threaten to get his dad on you or increasingly in this age of equality, his mummy. It is quite surreal to be told by a burly 16 year old boy that he will 'get his mother to sort you out'
Also; when did pupils start swearing at teachers and getting away with it?
Page 13 Why on Earth do Senior Members of Staff grovel so much to the naughty kids? They invariably add 'Please' to the end of every command, thus sounding like they are begging and lose all respect. Whatever happened to just telling them what to do and making sure it's done?
Page 14 Spencer's lack of short term memory is not unusual. My pet theory is that because nothing is rote learnt any more, many kids simply don't develop a good memory because they never have to.
page 15 Mr. Phillips is a good example of someone who has been promoted steadily because he has never put a foot wrong. The fact that he has never achieved anything either, does not matter.
Page 15 We spend so much time dealing with the badly behaved little brats, whilst ignoring the good quiet hard working kids so that they become disillusioned.
Page 16 When did 'Writing a letter to say that you are sorry' become a punishment?
Page 16 Expelling the naughty kids is pretty much a thing of the past. Nowadays it's called 'excluding' (can anyone tell me why?) and generally means for a couple of days so that the toe rag can have a nice little break or come back onto the school premises to cause mayhem if they so wish.
Page 16 The 'Leaders' of many schools make it as hard as possible for any teacher who wishes to punish a pupil. Therefore the child apologises profusely and simply commits the same crime the next day.
Page 17 It's an interesting point that teaching must be one of the few professions where, if you are off sick, you are still supposed to set work for your classes rather than just getting on with being ill. (Not everybody does though- and if they don't then the Head of Department has to find some work for them)
Page 18 Three things never ceased to amaze me about textbooks:
1) The terrible state of them)
2) That there were never ever enough to go round
3) That the kids couldn't take them home.
Textbooks are now masterpieces of reverse discrimination. It is absolutely forbidden to show white boys in a positive light under any circumstances. The obvious idea of charging the kids parents a deposit for each textbook and perhaps encouraging them to treat it with some respect was laughed out of court when I suggested it in my first year of work.
Page19 to 23 A lesson that drove me to the very edge of despair and illustrates just how far we have fallen in Primary Schools with the teaching of how to follow basic instructions.
Page 24 to 27 Not one of these things was taught to me on teacher training. More about this one year course/ farce later
Page 28 Most lessons with Bottom Set Year 11 are a complete and utter waste of time for both teacher and kids.
Page 30 There are few things more hilarious in teaching than some ex pupil turning up on some form of stolen transport to say 'hello'.
Page 30 One of the worst things is to see a good kid dragged down by the crap ones. It happens all the time.
Page 32 The amount of litter in and around schools is a disgrace. Many teachers and Heads are afraid to do anything about it.
Page 33 God knows why any parent is allowed on the school premises without an appointment.
Page 35 Female teachers seem to be getting fatter and fatter. Sooner or later one of them will explode or fall on a kid and squash them.
Page 35 For some reason most of the IT equipment in schools never seems to work. Most of it is only there to provide amusement for the kids. Meanwhile they share the textbooks
Page 36 Just about every interesting Chemistry practical is now forbidden on 'Health and Safety ' grounds.
Page 36 Passing kids up the chain of command when they laugh at the idea of being punished by you and then seeing them passed back down again with a 'stern warning' is one of the most infuriating parts of teaching
Page 38 Primary school used to be about teaching the basic skills kids needed for Secondary School. How to sit still and listen, how to keep silent, how to read, write and do your tables. None of these appear to be taught anymore.
Page 39 This idea of rushing over to a pupil as soon as they put their hand up, was constantly ingrained on us in PGCE. I can remember pointing out that I wasn't a domestic servant and shouldn't we try and encourage them to persevere with solving a problem. I soon regretted opening my mouth.
Page 41 The madness of Inclusion is slowly starting to change from being a taboo subject to becoming an issue. There will be a U turn soon I reckon.
My own view is that we should have special schools for those with major learning difficulties and Borstals for those with major behavioural difficulties (new term meaning 'very naughty')
Page 42 There are tens of thousands of 'Jennys' in the UK and they are all stuffed. They have absolutely no chance of escaping the hell holes where they were born. Only an education system that selects early by ability can give them a chance and there's not much hope of that arriving any day soon.
Page 44 Lots of kids who really need it, don't get any extra help simply because their parents can't be bothered to go along with the 'statementing process'
Page 45 Feral packs of children roam the school freely looking for trouble. Some are ex pupils who sadly still hang round the school (ghosts) and others are just playing truant or skipping lessons (waifs)
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